I promised my dad two weeks ago I would buy a cheap spiral notebook and start writing down the things the kids say. I forgot. Last night he called me and yelled at me, telling me “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.”
So I need to put “cheap spiral notebook” on my Target list.
Until then, I thought I would put a few recent gems here.
(In Target, after eating a huge snack at home.)
Jack: I really want popcorn, mom.
Me: No, we just ate and are having dinner after this. Not this time, OK?
Jack: But I REALLY want some. We love popcorn!
Me: I said no.
Jack: But I’m hungry like the wolf!
Me: (hysterical laughter)
Random guy shopping: (hysterical laughter)
(After getting in trouble for being mean to Viv.)
Jack: So 2-year-olds can’t swim?
Jack: And they can’t ride bikes?
Jack: What CAN they do?
Me: I don’t know, buddy, lots of things.
Jack: Hit. They can hit. She hits me.
Me: Yeah, that’s true.
(At dinner, when Viv … tooted.)
Me: What was THAT, Vivver?
Viv: It was my butt! A big sound came out of it! My butt made a big noise!
Me and Philip: (laughing so hard we had tears in our eyes)
They do these things to make up for the dreadful bedtimes, the grocery store tantrums, the poop in the bathtub, and how they trash your body when you’re pregnant with them. That must be why kids are so funny — to make you forget when they are wretched.
Happy running. And parenting.