Currently reading … and a haunting 1:49

Howdy, friends.

I just finally finished “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,” and good grief, what took me so long? I loved it. I have the second one already, but first I have to get through “Cleopatra,” by Stacy Schiff, for my next book club meeting.

Book review here. I just started it tonight, and already I’m like, wait, who? What?  I need a cast of characters page. Or to have paid more attention in history class. Or to have just a better memory in general. (I am the kind of person who searches all over for my glasses, only to realize I am wearing them.)

Maybe I’m just tired tonight, but already I am like, ugh, this is going to be the death of me. I made Philip tell me how many pages a night I had to read to make sure I had it finished by book club (about 20). Maybe I should include “read confusing biography” to my running log, since it’s a mental workout and all. Or maybe it will pick up. I’m sure it didn’t win the Pulitzer for sucking ass.

In other news, I did my first post-Phoenix run this weekend — just 30 minutes on the treadmill at the gym. I have now run on a treadmill about 8-10 times the past like four months — probably more than the past four years combined. I still despise it, but some days I find I just have to — work schedules, nap schedules, whatever. At least I am getting it done, right? The run was fine. I could have run more, but I just want to go easy and be careful. I still remember going crazy after Fargo in 2009, and ending up injured before Twin Cities that year. I would like to not repeat that.

But I have to admit … I am haunted by my 1:49 … the amount of time over BQing I ran in Phoenix. I was in shape to do it. To run sub-3:40 without a problem. On a course built for it. On a partly cloudy, 55 degree day. With no injuries, enough fuel, and the right attitude. Right up until 21.5 miles. When I just mentally crumbled.

I’m angry about it. Earlier in the race, I talked to myself about some changes that have happened at work, about the shape I was in, and told myself, I’m ready. I’m standing here, at the beginning of 2012, full of opportunity, and I don’t want to blow it. Not this time. I want to do my new job right, well, wonderfully. I wanted running Phoenix to be me showing myself that I can not only put in the hard work, but see it through. So, if I’m honest, I feel sort of crushed, for reasons that go beyond running. (And if I’m honest, I decided that, technically I DID re-qualify — for Boston 2012, when the standards were still 3:45 for my age group. It’s just, you know, the race sold out. Last year sometime. But you know, technically … .)

And yes, I know this is all boring and I’m not giving out a lot of detail about work. The main thing to know is this: I want to do a good job. A great job. And I’m going to try my damndest to do it.

And try that whole marathon thing again in May. Fargo or Brookings, I’ll be at one of them. And I won’t let myself off the hook this time.

Happy running.


This entry was posted in Books, Boston Marathon, Brookings, Marathon, Phoenix Marathon, Running, Twin Cities Marathon. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Currently reading … and a haunting 1:49

  1. Danni says:

    Learning to race the perfect marathon takes more than just fitness and ability. You will get there.

  2. Miranda Gargasz says:

    Keep your chin up. You can do anything you want. I have faith in you!

  3. Karyn says:

    Winnipeg has a lovely flat marathon in June. 😉

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