Taper hell

Howdy, friends.

I admit it: I am in taper hell. True, real, taper hell. I cannot believe I have to run a marathon in 10 days. I feel like I’ve never run before in my life.

Yet I have. I do. Almost every day. I ran 18.5 miles a few days ago. But yesterday, on a 5.3-mile run, I felt like I was going to die. Just had heavy legs, felt out of shape. Fat. God, what is it with taper? I feel like a huge, fat fucking whale. Like an elephant running.

Even more horrifying, Phoenix is hot, and I don’t do well in the heat. As my friend Patrick suggested, the only outfit I will be happy in when it’s 50 degrees is something “barely legal” in the skin-coverage department. It’s so true. I overheat really easily.

So, when I am not obsessing over how out of shape I feel, I am freaking out about what to wear. (The plan right now is my North Face shorts with the pockets for gels, a sports bra, arm warmers and maybe cheapie mittens I can throw off — my hands often get cold.) I don’t know.

At any rate, I know I’ve put in the work. I know I have the mileage to back up my goals. This will be my eighth marathon, so I have experience. This isn’t my first time at this rodeo. I know how to not start too fast, to run within my limits, to remember to open my fucking gels beforehand because I have zero dexterity and can never figure them out past mile 20.

I know all this.

And yet. Freaking. Out.

What is the science behind taper madness? Somebody google this for me and let me know.

Happy running.

This entry was posted in Marathon, Running. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Taper hell

  1. Danni says:

    That’s why it’s good to do short fast runs like intervals — keep from feeling sluggish and stale. I hope you get the CDs I sent. I need to email you the actual song list. Also, let me know if it didn’t work or if Apple prevents you from uploading the music back into MP3 format. I didn’t test the CDs…

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