We have survived two evenings of cry-it-out with Genevieve. After nearly 7 months of sleeping in her swing, we are trying to get her to sleep in her crib. It’s going … OK.
She has struggled with some reflux issues, and we were most comfortable — and she was most comfortable — sleeping sort of sitting up. And I was so desperate for sleep, I didn’t care where she slept. In bed with me, in the swing, in the garage (just kidding), wherever, as long as she slept, I was happy.
So every night, I wrapped her up like a little burrito, nursed her until she passed out, strapped her into her swing, cranked the shit out of it, and crept out of her room. It worked like a charm, and she would wake up a few times a night, nurse again, and conk back out.
But lately, the swing isn’t even working. She’s waking up, completely inconsolable, 3-4 times a night. The ONLY thing that works is nursing her. I don’t mind that, but let’s be honest, at almost 7 months, she does NOT need to nurse all night long anymore. And I need some damn sleep. I am dying here. Philip has gone in to try to soothe her, but it doesn’t work. She wants boob, and she wants it now.
I’m exhausted. She’s cranky. The swing is failing us.
So, on Tuesday night, we decided to just go for it, and tossed her, unswaddled, into the crib and demanded she sleep. I tried this once before, and got this look out of her:
(That photo was taken one evening when she fucking screamed for like 2 straight hours. While she did that, Jack repeatedly took his diaper off and peed and pooped on the floor in his room. Philip was at work. I was at the end of my rope. When he walked in the door, I handed him a screaming baby, told him about the nudist in his crib, and immediately walked out the door for a good, hard run.)
So, I did what I’ve always done, which is ask daycare to break her swaddle/swing habit. They did, and got her napping in a crib during the day. So I knew she could do it.
If you’ve ever done cry it out, you know how stressful it can be. Even though I went in and checked on her every 20 minutes to let her know, she’s OK, and to show myself that she’s OK, it still makes you crazy. Philip and I glared at each other while she screamed, feeling like running up and picking her up on one hand, and knowing that if we do, we’ve basically made her cry for an hour for no reason.
The only thing to do is try to get through it. Tuesday night she screamed nonstop for 2 hours. Then she rolled onto her side and conked out. She still woke up a few times, and I nursed her in the middle of the night (twice), but stuck to the crib for sleep.
Wednesday night, she only screamed for an hour and 15 minutes. Again, she was up twice, but was able to be nursed back down and right into the crib again.
I am hoping tonight goes even better.
We did this with Jack, and it was worth it. I know it’s worth it. She has to learn how to soothe herself to sleep. And I need some sleep. Real sleep. I can’t handle 7 more months of 4-5 hours a night, and not all at once. It’s making me nuts, and I get mad at the poor baby, and glare at her at 3 a.m. She doesn’t deserve that.
In other random news, my left pubic ramus is killing me. You have to be kidding me. This is such bullshit. I’m not even running hard lately! I am so pissed about it.