So, every day I wear two elastic bands around my wrist. One is just so I can put my hair in a ponytail, which I do when I run or when I get sick of it hanging in my face. The other is so I remember which side I need to start nursing on when I feed the baby next. I have about zero memory, so this helps.
A few weeks ago, I was at work and decided to pull my hair up, as usual. Well, there were no elastic bands to be found. What the hell? I looked around my office floor, thinking maybe they got stuck in my coat sleeve and fell on the floor or something. Nope, nowhere to be found.
OK, whatever. Well, that night as I was changing out of my work clothes into my after-work clothes (read: pajamas), I realized they were both around my right ankle. How the HELL did that happen, and how did I not notice the entire day that I was basically cutting off circulation to my right foot? It must have happened when I pulled my trouser sock on inside out to turn it right-side out or something. It was so odd.
I didn’t think much of it — fluke, right? And my girlfriend and I always joke we are so busy worrying about other things that we don’t have time to think about ourselves — like my turning-blue foot (aside: A few weeks before this, just sharing to prove her point, I scratched my finger on something at home and didn’t notice until I was nursing the baby and realized she was covered in blood. Talk about panic — it was my blood, though, thank god. I just didn’t even notice the cut or that I was bleeding everywhere).
So, today, I went to the gym to change before I ran outside, and what did I see?
What. The. Fuck?? Again? I somehow did this AGAIN? And notice the indentation. That’s where the elastics were, until I scooched them down. I have no idea how I keep doing this. It doesn’t even make sense.
Also notice my blindingly white new running shoes. I need a rainstorm, stat.