Fair warning: Too much information

Howdy, friends.

You should stop reading NOW if you are horrified by people who overshare. Because I am about to really, really overshare.

Still here? OK, I warned you.

Two kids in 3 years, exclusive breastfeeding has basically meant that, you know, I almost (ALMOST) forgot what that whole menstruation thing was about. And I guess I didn’t really think that much about how tough it was to find OB tampons before I got pregnant with Genevieve. Whatever, I hear there’s a shortage, but how bad can it be? (Links here, here and here.) The stories say they started shipping them in January, but I don’t see it. And the CNN story also says they have a cult-like following. Please. I don’t see OB trying to separate me from my friends and family. It’s trying to unite me, by making me feel able to leave the goddamn house!

Bad, people. It’s bad. What the FUCK, OB? Why have you forsaken me? I hit 3 stores this weekend and was forced to settle for an inferior brand, which I will not name, but which feels so freakin’ huge I need a goddamn quiver to carry them around. Not like beloved OB, where you can stuff about 250 of them in your tiny jeans pocket and go on an extended vacation, knowing you’re safe from spills.

Ugh.

I'll search the world over for you, o wonderful creation!

I am just pissed about it. I tried to complain about it to Philip, but really, men just would not understand this. I can’t go into detail about WHY I love this brand so much — that would be too much sharing even for me. But GAH! I’ve been a loyal consumer for 20 years! That is a long time. And I probably have another 15 to go, you know? Don’t abandon me, OB!

And now I will have to explain the $60 charge on our credit card, where I ordered a boatload of these bad boys over the Internet. It’s THAT big of a deal to me.

Thanks a lot, babies. Not only did you ruin a good night’s sleep for me for the rest of my life, but you jacked up my body so much I have to hit the black market for tampons.

Happy running.

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7 Responses to Fair warning: Too much information

  1. thegnomesmom says:

    As someone who hasn’t menstruated in 15 months, I was completely unaware that there was a shortage. Must. Prepare. Now.

    http://thegnomesmom.com/

  2. It’s bad news, sister. I don’t get what kind of freakin’ shortage OB had. I mean, seems like cotton is in pretty good supply …?

  3. Maria Jeremiason says:

    So totally laughing my butt off right now! Same thing here. I packed more than a year’s worth of these babies when we lived abroad…when my stash finally started to wane several months after we returned, and I started to re-stock..hmmm, nowhere to be found. I stalk the feminine hygeine aisles of every store I go to…small town drugstores, to megastores. I have started to find them randomly, at my least favorite store on Earth (go ahead and guess what that is), the check out people must think I’m having serious lady problems when I go through the line. Don’t care, I want to be assured that I have this beloved brand (I, too, have used them for 20+ years!) until I hit menopause…

    Kristen just doesn’t get it, I’m glad you do.

  4. Freps says:

    you made me laugh on a very crappy day. Menstruation is for amateurs, baby, but if I still had such pedestrian affairs to worry about, I’d be pissed off too. Oh, and you said “quiver.”

  5. Amy says:

    I can buy them in D.C. They were somewhat hard to find a few months ago. Don’t go away, O.B.! I LOVE YOU!

  6. Danni says:

    Hmmm. I hadn’t noticed. Maybe this part of the country is hoarding them all.

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