Is this wrong?

Howdy, friends.

That’s a question I have been asking myself lately. Not about the obvious things (Is it wrong to sign up for a race on crap training? Yes. Is it wrong to keep my coworker’s compression socks for all eternity? Yes.).

But about other, seemingly minor parenting issues.

Is it wrong that I’ve given up potty-training Viv? I don’t know. Maybe? She was doing really well with going pee in the potty. The other thing? Not happening. We did what we did with Jack — just ignored it and went with underpants for her and figured she’d come around. But months later, she hasn’t. And I’m sick of it.

So we went back to pull-ups (which I hate mostly because they are a gimmick and are way more expensive than diapers) and I just … gave up. I take her potty, and if she tells me she has to go, we go then, too. But that’s it. She poops her pants every single day. More than once. And has zero interest in the potty for it.

With Jack, we persevered and just powered through. But he still did things when he was ready. In general, I don’t believe in waiting until a kid is ready for everything before they do it — I mean, part of parenting is you making them do things they don’t want to do (clear their plates from the table, put their shoes away, stop playing and go to bed). Maybe this is pure second-child laziness.

But whatever. I give up. Pull-ups forever!

Then there’s Jack.

He had a milk allergy, which he outgrew around age 3. But those two years of soy milk pretty much ruined him for regular milk. He won’t drink it. I tried going back to soy, but he won’t drink that, either.

We aren’t big juice people (orange with breakfast, a juice box in the Burley on bike rides, purely as a bribe).

But lately I’ve been looking at him … and he’s just so small. Still barely 35 pounds, 10 days shy of his 5th birthday. He eats pretty well, and we’ve become stricter on vegetables, which he hates. Currently I cover them in salt and he chokes them down.

Baby steps, right? (Meanwhile, his sister will eat every single vegetable on the table, including taking them off your plate if you are not looking.)

But now I’ve begun giving him chocolate milk at either lunch or dinner. I just want to cram more calories in him. He will drink smoothies I make in the morning, and he loves yogurt and cheese. But I don’t know … I want more calories. I make the chocolate milk with syrup, so it isn’t maybe quite as godawful (and by that I mean awesome) as the kind you buy pre-made. I keep meaning to look to see if it’s even that much different, sugar-wise, than flavored yogurt.

But still I wonder if basically I suck for serving that to my kid.

I don’t know. Pre-kids, I would have seen a kid drinking chocolate milk and made some kind of judgment in my head about what crap parents those were. I was such an idiot.

Sometimes with parenting, right and wrong aren’t black and white at all. Most times.

But here we are. With our pull-ups, and salty veggies and chocolate milk. Everyone’s smiling, so that’s good, right?

This entry was posted in Kids. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Is this wrong?

  1. Tina says:

    I feed my girls chocolate milk (made with the syrup), and you know, I don’t feel guilty about it. It’s the only way my oldest will drink milk, and even then she only drinks a little. They are getting some calcium, so I figure it’s beneficial. Have you tried strawberry milk yet? I’ve been meaning to buy some strawberry flavored syrup and see if my oldest prefers that.
    My oldest was a little over three when she was finally totally potty trained. We spent about a year trying here and there and she had no problem sitting in a wet (or worse) diaper or Pullup. At the time I thought the day would never come when she would be potty trained, but alas, it did. It just took a little more time than I had anticipated.

  2. Don’t sweat it. My Tony is so much a mix of your two kids that it isn’t funny. He, too, was born with a milk allergy and couldn’t tolerate milk–even mine–until age 2. He’s bone thin and eats like a bird, and NEVER wants veggies. I’ve covered them in cheese and bacon just so he’ll eat them and even then it’s a toss up. He would have lived in his poop if he had any say in it. I showed up at the pediatrician in tears with an almost four year old who just refused to go to the bathroom. She told me to make sure he eats a vitamin daily, get what food I can into him and keep taking him potty. Her own son was in pull-ups until age five. It will come in time, Jacqueline. Kids were just designed to give us gray hair. Keep your chin up and rest assured–you’re an awesome mother!!!!!!

  3. Jill says:

    Natalie weighs 34, but 6 months younger. I wonder if maybe they are normal like when we were kids. Kids were little back then.

    What about adding some olive oil to his smoothies? That’s what my husband does when he needs more calories. You can’t taste. Avocados make a smoothie really creamy, but does change the color a bit.

    Natty potty trained herself 2-3 days before her 3rd birthday. Just got up, and wanted to wear panties. Potty training was easier than weaning. Yes she finally weaned!! Don’t sweat it. <3

  4. Danni says:

    You don’t really hear about adults who refuse to use the potty so I imagine it will all work out. I drink chocolate milk — in fact it’s one of my top new favorite foods along with cereal with milk. ;)

  5. Joan says:

    One of my daughters potty trained herself when she decided to do it. She just need thre right motivation. Just before age 3, she said that she wanted a Barbie doll. I told her that only big girls have Barbies and big girls use the potty. Guess what, she just did it. Viv must need some kind of motivation.

    Have you thought about giving Jack one pea or one bean or one kernel of corn? Just eat one.

  6. My older son was also dairy allergic and now will only drink chocolate milk. I use the powder and don’t make it super chocolatey. I think Tru Moo’s brand of chocolate milk is pretty decent, healthwise, so occasionally I buy that and mix it half and half with plain milk. I figure it’s better than no milk.

    And on the potty training? It’s one of those things that I feel they do when they are ready, but sometimes bribery helps. ;o)

  7. Kim says:

    Hey Jack…our doctor advised giving Cole (12 years old) whole milk because it contains good calories. He was burning so many calories swimming that he was not gaining weight. So, we started making shakes for him with whole milk, chocolate syrup, rice powder, banana, peanut butter and once in a while I will add an egg in the blender just to give him more protein. Seems to be doing the trick. Tate enjoys them as well! Our doctor believes in the whole milk until their teens…their brains need it! I always do try to buy organic milk. You are doing the right thing. Love and kisses, Kim

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s